My Son

I've been to marriage counseling with my husband twice. Not because we were less in love, but because we were dealing with growing, changing, learning to deal with huge emotional events in life. That kind of strain can destroy the best of them... but we were determined that we'd not only survive it, but evolve from it a stronger, more in love, couple. We have. I love Nathan more today than ever before. We truly have a happy marriage.

When we really, verbally, committed to marriage for good, we said we'd just, "Stay." Period... That's how you keep a marriage together. Stay. That gem of advice was given to me by our dear friend Joann Saxon, and it's been our marriage happy pill every since. No matter what, we know we're in it for good.

The afternoon we did that, committed for good, we'd sat down to discuss having a baby. We'd been married for 5 years at that point, and always said "Maybe, if the human race is in danger of extinction, we'll consider breeding."

When that sentiment started to change, we sat down to talk and I told him something like this:


"If you have any doubt, any at all, then this is your chance, with no repercussion, no mouthiness, no emotional drama, to tell me. Tell me now before we spring into being a whole autonomous being.


He deserves more than us. I know that before having him in my arms. If we're going to do it anyway, we have to spend the rest of our lives making that up to him."

He's so miraculous, this boy. Every day I love him more. All the old cliches... every single one of them.. they all make sense to me now. "You can't know until you have one." "A baby will change your whole life."

You hear the sentiment, "He makes me a better person." You hear it, you say, awwww, and you move on. Having him made me stop and appreciate that cliche. Aeden is the dowsing rod that taps my well of ambition. He makes me want to be the best wife, friend, and mother I can be- and then surpass even those aspirations.

I want perfection for him. I feel as though I'd do anything if I could guarantee happiness for him. He crushes me... Sometimes I look at him and I feel as though I'm going mad with love. He looks at me and smiles and my whole body tingles. I melt. It really truly is devastating in the most wonderful way.

Last night I took him to bed and I was rocking him in my arms talking to him before I laid him down and he started petting my hair and behind my ear, just like I do to him...

My cup runneth over.